Berlin what a Funny Place to Spend Xmas

The Battalion and I were in Germany over Xmas Berlin to be exact, a six month sabbatical hence the title. We were boozed up and nowhere to go!

This night we were looking for a bit of fun and games. I wasn’t shy about coming forward and after a few beers in the NAAFI BAR, it came to that terrible time for closing, the bell tolled and the shutters came down. It would be approximately twelve midnight, sadly that was our lot and we had to go home to our beds. We looked at each other and that old saying sprung to mind “unlucky for some”, we were looking for more and still full of our own importance including the beer!

We managed to get to the company billet, our room was up on the second floor sleeping approx twelve soldiers. Now for the fun, instead of going to bed we moseyed up to the wash room at the top of the stairs, some four flights up and no where near our own room. It was a deliberate ploy to confuse the Military Police, we knew that they would try and find us. Once in the wash room I clambered up on to the wash-hand-basin and opened the window, down in the street below us were a few young German lads who had just appeared and happened to be looking up at us. There were loads of expletives shouted, a proper slanging match ensued. I don’t remember what they were shouting, but although it was in German, it would be very similar to what we were shouting at them. Maybe things like…. “please go away”, or words to that effect!

After a while they moved on and to our joy, the next person who came along the road was a KOSB corporal, he appeared very drunk and was heading towards the main gate of the Barracks. What happened to our corporal friend next was quite funny, inside the wash room was a fire bucket which was as usual full of sand. This was duly emptied and soon to be filled up with water, the deal was that we would drench our tipsy mate, an excellent idea remember we were 4 flights up. Accuracy was paramount, I asked one of my mates for some assistance, they duly obliged, one of the lads jumped up on the sink beside me. Counting me down to the throwing zone, one, two, three and now was the shout. I off-loaded the bucket of water, what a fabulous shot, a direct hit was scored, our Corporal soldier friend had been soaked.

Off we went down to our room on the second floor jumping in to our beds, lights switched off and pretending to be asleep. When the Military Police came in to our room along with our soaked Corporal friend, their comments went like this (it could not be them, they are all asleep). We could hear the Police and our drenched friend go up and down the stairs looking for the men who had done this dastardly deed.

We all have survived to tell the tale, maybe a little bit lucky on the night, who knows. We might have come across as being slightly sad and and lonely in my earlier stories…. please don’t worry about how we were.

This story alone proves that discipline was the most important thing amongst our soldiers, the British Army certainly provided us with that….. I have more tales to tell… but can I afford to write them.

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