Could I become An Impressionist?

Something that emerged whilst training with Raith Rovers in Kirkcaldy was what can only be described as truly remarkable. I used to travel to training on my own straight from work, as an apprentice Joiner. I carried everything with me, my training gear, peace bag, foot-rule, dungarees and all.

Once when I was on my way back to the station after training there used to be a “waiting room” on the platform. It was the main place to be, always well heated with a coal fire, the room was like a little Furness. This room was amazingly warm and receptive for the travellers, most nights it was bitterly cold and on this particular night it was no different. This room was as usual full to bursting you couldn’t get anywhere near this favoured spot, a position outside was all that one could contemplate.

Most nights the Station Manager would trot along the platform and call out instructions to the passengers, he’d shout out details of the timetable and the trains arriving. He was very methodical and melodic, with his dulcet tones, he would give us instructions like this “Change Dalmeny for Glasgow, Change Dalmeny for Glasgow” Scottish accent and all.

It was freezing as usual and after a particularly hard training session and being pretty tired, I… T.W.Morphed in-to this Scottish?British? Rail Station Master? .

In my opinion It was something that had to be done, the time had come for action to be taken, with trepidation in my heart, I shouted out the “instructions”. It was as though I was in an other world, I had to become that Station Manager, the words flowed from my mouth in a surreal way, very naturally and very much like that man. My mouth was surreptitiously covered sounding exactly like the man in charge “Change Dalmeny for Glasgow, Change Dalmeny for Glasgow”.

To my wonderment and excitement the waiting room emptied, all the passengers trooped out thinking that he had spoken, (HAD HE!) my train wasn’t quite due and neither was the Dalmeny to Glasgow one. I had in my opinion achieved the impossible and it gave me great pleasure in standing in that special waiting room, next to that fantabidosi fire.

I happened to be the only passenger in the waiting room, nice and warm, you can all make up your minds if I was in the right to do such a deed. I truly revelled in my scam, it had made my day and I thought that it was fantastic and very funny, I thought I had found a new career as an impressionist? I never did it again, I don’t think that it was fear that stopped me from doing it but the probability and my consideration for my fellow rail travellers.

I remember it as though it was yesterday 1958-9 season, hence my reason for telling you about it.

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